Still in the Room?

You know that feeling when you’re in a room and realize that your ideas won’t be well-received, even before you finish speaking? No one openly disagrees with you; the conversation moves on as if nothing is wrong. However, after paying attention for a long time, you start to recognize the signs and can’t ignore them anymore.

I work in a creative industry, one that positions itself around culture and warmth. On the surface, that’s accurate. The aesthetic is there, and so is the community behind it. But in the years I’ve been in this space, I have often been the only Black person in the room. I’ve watched how ideas move; whose suggestions get considered and carried forward, and whose don’t. I’ve sat in rooms where we talk about expansion and reaching new audiences while at the same time, the range of perspectives remains extremely narrow.

I’ve made suggestions. I’ve raised questions about who we center, who we invite in, and who we’re actually building for. I’ve brought names of chefs, creatives, and collaborators; all people of color doing serious and meaningful work who could expand not just our reach but the integrity of what we say we are. I’ve pointed to the gap between what we claim to value and what our choices actually reflect. And those ideas didn’t move forward; they weren’t taken seriously enough to act on.

This kind of dismissal leaves you with nothing tangible to address; it’s just a series of moments that form a pattern you can no longer ignore. Over time, you realize you’ve been giving something valuable that’s gone unappreciated.

It makes you question what is actually being heard and what your presence is really for. Whether you are valued in a space or simply useful to it, and whether you’ve been too willing to accept one as the other. I’m at a point in my career where I cannot pretend to not see that difference. It’s clarifying to realize that there are spaces that are comfortable in their own perspective.

Now I ask myself what it means for me to keep being part of it? What does it mean to contribute to something that doesn’t reflect what I know is possible? I share ideas based on my experiences, but I see them fade away when they run up against what is already established and familiar, which has never had to prove itself as I have. Also, what does my choice to stay say about me? What am I prepared to accept? How am I choosing to spend my energy? What are the conflicts between my values and my presence in a space that was not made for either?

Right now, I don’t have all the answers. I’m still figuring things out. I’ve also realized that staying in my current situation isn’t as simple as it seems. And I also don’t think I’m the only one experiencing this.

Maybe you’ve felt it too. In a job, a relationship, or a community you’ve poured yourself into. That discomfort of showing up fully in a space that only receives you partially. And of staying, not because it’s right, but because leaving feels like the harder question to answer. That disconnect is real! It’s telling us about what we value, what we’ve been observing, and what we’re no longer willing to accept as the price of belonging somewhere. At least that part, I’m clear on.