Losing the Deal, Gaining the Vision
There’s something about losing an opportunity that forces you to take a step back. The disappointment, frustration, and the “what ifs” pile up. However, if you listen closely to the noise of self-doubt and frustration, there’s always a lesson waiting to be discovered. This is the story of how I lost what felt like a significant opportunity for Rum + Lime. And in that loss, I found something even more valuable: a deeper understanding of my brand, vision, and self-worth.
Some time ago, an emerging wine brand contacted me about a potential collaboration. They wanted Rum + Lime to assist with their brand reach and development and offered me full creative control. It felt like a big deal, something that could elevate Rum + Lime in the industry and show people I could lead an event like this.
But I won’t lie; alongside my excitement, there was doubt.
“Why would they choose me?”
“Is Rum + Lime big enough for this?”
“Do I even deserve this opportunity?”
I’ve had a habit of shrinking my own brand; of feeling like I need external validation to prove that Rum + Lime is something serious, something real. So when this opportunity came, I saw it as a chance to prove myself not just to others, but to me.
In the spirit of inclusivity, I decided to bring a colleague into the project. I’ve always wanted to create space for others to collaborate and build together. This is a core part of how I approach my work, so I didn’t think twice about sharing the opportunity. But sometimes, inclusivity without discernment can cost you.
The red flags were there from the start. After discussing the project with my colleague, there were delays in responses. I noticed that scheduled calls were frequently rescheduled, and some messages went unanswered. I felt like I was constantly chasing after their commitment. Initially, I had envisioned an exciting and collaborative process, but the delays became frustrating. I wanted them to recognize the value of this opportunity, but the setbacks cost me the chance I had hoped for and the brand ultimately moved in another direction. I was angry, not just at my colleague, but at myself, and I felt let down and disappointed. Worst of all, I couldn’t shake the thought: “If I had done this alone, would things have turned out differently?”
At first, I placed the blame entirely on my colleague’s lack of commitment. But with time, I started to see the deeper lesson: this wasn’t about them. It was about me. The real issue wasn’t that I brought someone in; it was why I felt I needed to. The truth is, this opportunity was given to me. Not me and a team, not me and whoever I decided to bring along. It was my assignment. But because I was so used to leaning on others and thinking I needed someone beside me to make things feel more legitimate, I hesitated to step into it fully. And here’s the other truth: if something is truly meant for me, no one else can take it away. If it’s not meant for me, then I’m being redirected to something better.
I now realize that alignment is everything. The partnerships I take on need to be rooted in mutual passion, respect, and a shared vision. Some people are in this industry to gain recognition or money, and some are here to build community. I want to build with those who are here to create something real. This is how I made peace with losing the opportunity. In the end, I didn’t really lose; I just gained the clarity I needed.
Fast forward to now, Rum + Lime is hosting its first event of the year: a dinner party called Rum + Lovers. This time, I stepped out on faith, trusted myself, and did it alone. And guess what? Tickets sold out in less than five days! Not only is this a fantastic way to start the year, but it’s proof that things fall into place when I fully stand behind my vision. My confidence in Rum + Lime reflects my confidence in myself. If I don’t believe in it, no one else will.
As I move forward, I am carrying the following lessons with me:
Not every opportunity needs to be shared. Some experiences are meant for me alone, and that’s perfectly okay.
Discernment is essential. Just because I value inclusivity doesn’t mean I should force collaboration when it doesn’t align.
Self-trust brings freedom. When I believe that what I have is enough, I no longer second-guess my place in this industry.
I may have lost the deal, but I gained the vision. And that’s a trade-off I’ll take every time.